And then there’s this.

Yes, Reykjavík has a penis museum. Actually it’s technically called the Icelandic Phallological Museum, but I assure you, it’s less than scientific once you’re inside. Entry costs 1250 ISK (10.51 USD). Kids get in free, but I’m judging any parent that takes advantage of that.

The museum is essentially a medium-sized room full of the severed penises of every species in the animal kingdom. The lights hanging from the ceiling are enclosed by hairy ram scrotums. The gift shop is full of smut. The walls are covered in penis-related art and poetry. Some of this poetry is literally cut from printer paper and taped onto the wall… so it’s clearly not an establishment with a high operating budget. However, in spite of the crassness of this institution, I have to admit that certain aspects were interesting.

The crowing jewel and centerpiece of this museum is a whale penis that is at least 6 feet high. Here’s a picture of my poor brother standing next to it for scale. Most of the penises in the museum were enclosed in giant cylindrical glass containers and preserved in some sort of liquid, like specimens in a lab. It might have been creepy if it wasn’t all so ludicrous. As a fellow man, I flinched with empathy at every penis I saw. Owch.

Anyway, that’ a whale penis over there, next to my little brother.

Feeling inadequate yet?

Well, if not, here’s a few more photos of animal penises from the Reykjavík Penis Museum, for better or for worse. Viewer discretion is advised…